• Susan Elaine Jones

Odd things I've overheard


When you hang around museums and their interesting people, you hear some odd things. Most of these raise more questions than they answer.

Me to a fellow artist: "You have the best collection of mummified rats I've ever seen. Even better than mine."

At a folk museum: "We need your help. Everything seems to have gone wrong since a foursome, when the other couple left us this... we think it is cursed."

Over coffee: "You have to consider when the beheading happened. It's difficult to know if it was just before or after death, but if they were dug up to be beheaded a couple of years after death, you'll find the teeth left in the ground where the head originally lay."

Friend describing a child's response to her art: "You is creepy sick, Miss."

Faith healer to a skeptic browser: "Did you drain my crystals?"

On a behind the scenes tour: "And this bag of stuff behind the sink turned out to be the stomach contents of a Tasmanian tiger."

In a tea break: "That corpse cake looked delicious."

Back at the folk museum: "I hear you might need my help with a cursed object. I'm a man-witch."

At a conference: "Nowadays we don't need the giant jampots for boiling. I deflesh my skulls in the microwave."

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